The Anticipation

I was on vacation at the end of March of this year so we decided to take Colt to the St. Louis Zoo on Friday the 31st.  Annette had taken off that day and we had be watching the weather since we had been stuck in a cold and rainy pattern.  It looked like Friday was going to be our only window.  We had talked to him about going earlier in the week and he was very excited about the zoo.  He wanted to go at that moment each time we talked about it so we had to explain to him all of the things that had to take place before Friday arrived.  We talked to him about the day before going to the zoo he had toddler exercise class with all his friends in the evening, then we would go to sleep, then get up and go to the zoo.

On Thursday Annette took Piper into the doctor because she was sick, so it was just Colt and I at the house.  While Annette and Piper were gone I took Colt out to the garage with me while I changed out Piper’s car seat to the next stage car seat.  I had to take Colt’s seat out and sat it in the front seat so I could work on Piper’s.  While I was busy in the back seat, Colt climbed in his and demanded to go to exercise class so he could knock that out of the way.  I tried to explain his class was not for 5 more hours, but he would hear none of that because he was knocking this out right now so we can go to the zoo.  It was around the time if the afternoon that he starts to get tired and things tend to spiral downhill quickly.

We finally made it to Friday.  Piper had an ear infection so she stayed with Mom and Dad, even if she was feeling well the thought of taking a 3 and a 1 year old to the zoo was a little much for us.  It was a little chilly that day with a grey overcast but this was our only shot to make it happen.  We took a backpack with food, water, all the toddler essentials, and we took the jogging stroller.  The whole drive over we talked to Colt about the zoo and about riding the train there, he was getting really excited.  We stopped for gas and I was showing Annette a food trailer that serves barbeque that is always parked at the gas station.  I always had wanted to try it but it is closed when I stop after work.

The Arrival

We only had to turn around once during our trip and we arrived at our destination.  We parked and put Colt in the stroller, we just thought he would want to get out once we got through the gates.  As soon as we got in I seen all the families with their kids having a great time.  The running water, the people talking, the zoo train in the distance.  I could almost hear memories being etched in the minds of parents and children.  The kinds memories that would last a lifetime and always bring a smile to everyone’s faces.  However our experience was a little different.

It was a hour trip so the first thing Annette and I wanted to do was use the restroom, Colt said he didn’t need to go so we didn’t force him since he is good about telling us when he does need to go.  We started off small and seen painted dogs and giant ant eaters.  Colt did not seem impressed and refused to leave the stroller.  We asked each time if he could see the animal and in the smallest voice he would say, “yes”.  Annette and I both started to realize that he was just saying that and really couldn’t since he was so low to the ground.  I offered to put him on my shoulders but he refused.  We were able to get him out of the stroller long enough to get a picture in front of the elephants and the penguins.

We waded our way through the crowds of kids to walk through a glass tunnel with the sea lions swimming around us.  Annette and I were impressed, but Colt not so much.  We walked through the penguin area which was pretty cool, figuratively and literally.  A nice lady offered to take a picture of all of us which I though was awesome.  Colt was still indifferent.  We stopped at the polar bears which were swimming.  You could walk right up to the glass and watch them underwater.  Kids came in groups to press up against the glass and the bears looked like they were eating up the attention.  We wheeled Colt up to the glass.  He didn’t say much but really let us know with the look on his face that he would very much like to back up now and get away from the big bear, maybe because he wanted the other kids to have a turn or maybe because he was terrified of it and wanted no part of this.

Riding the rails of the Terror Train

After a few hours Annette and I decided we were just going to see what we wanted to see since Colt had lost interest in everything.  Then we would pull our ace in the hole which was riding the train.  He loves riding anything with an engine so this was a sure fire way to save this family outing.  In my mind Annette, Colt, and I would always remember riding the training at the zoo and smile about the fondness of the memory because we know what Colt really wants.  The kid really does know what he wants and turns out what Colt really wanted was to not ride the train.

We bought our tickets at the station and waited for the train.  We knew we were approaching the time of day when Colt starts to get tired and things spiral downward, but the train was a sure thing to keep his spirits up.  We were telling Colt about how we were going to ride it and he started to have a meltdown.  The tickets were purchased and we just knew if we could get him on the train that he would see that we knew he would love it and thank us for years to come.  The train pulls in and the meltdown escalates.

We tried to board through one set of turnstiles but they were locked so we had to turn around to go to another set on the other side of the ticket counter.  During the turn around a water bottle fell off the stroller that I did not see where it went, Annette said she would get it and wanted me to get Colt and the stroller on the train.  I hurried to open turnstile and got through with the stroller and Colt.   Annette got the water bottle and sat down with Colt.  I had to fold the stroller up and shove it in the seat in front of them.  Now the whole train is waiting on me to get this thing inside the train so we can all leave.  It is like a high pressure game of Tetris so I lift, twist, shove and the stroller finally rest on the bench seat.

The whole time Colt is crying and screaming that he does not want to ride the train.  I go back to sit with Annette to help control Colt when I hear someone from behind me call out, “Sir!”  There were many sirs on this train, but somehow I knew I was the sir in question.  It was one of the train staff which informed me that someone will need to sit in the seat with the stroller.  I get up and so much room was taken up by the stroller that I had to sit a little sideways so I could easily look back at Annette and Colt and at everyone behind up staring at us.  It was mostly young couples that did not have kids which were thinking, “That will never be me, my kids will never act like that.”  I just thought to myself none of us think we will be “those” parents until one day it happens and you are one of “those” parents.

The train starts to move and Colt is still crying and yelling but since it is outside I don’t think the whole train can hear it.  However we enter into a very small tunnel right off the bat and Colt’s cries and screams echo for the enjoyment of the entire train.  I look back and Annette and we both smile a little because what can we do at this point, we are one of “those” parents now, so just roll with it.  I looked at Colt and he had a mixture of tears, snot, and betrayal on his face, “Et tu, Father?”  I lost track of the times the train stopped, but at some point we arrive at a station close to the gates we came in through.  During the longest train ride in history Colt had passed out so we got him up and back on the stroller.  As we exited the train the conductor thanked us for riding, I somehow doubted his sincerity.

We made a quick stop at the gift shop to get a stuffed animal for Colt and Piper.  Every animal we held in front of Colt and asked if he wanted it he answered in the smallest voice, “yes.”  As if he was saying to us, “You didn’t want my input on the train and now you want my opinion?”  We settled on a pair of stuffed leopards of different colors.  We were getting ready to leave and tried to get Colt to go to the bathroom all day but he would not got.  Now at this point we are between 5 and 6 hours since he last went, so he needed to give it up before we started the hour drive home.  Annette tried to wheel him into the family restroom but he was like a cat going into a bathtub.  He is grabbed on with hands, feet, fingers, and toes to the door wedging himself in the doorway.  We finally just accept the fact he is going to fall asleep as soon as we leave and he will wet himself in his car seat.  He is literally making his bed and getting ready to lay in it.

The Departure

We talked about getting McDonald’s since he likes the chicken nuggets so much and if we hurried maybe we can get him to use the restroom there.  It is not our favorite dining option but Colt might like it since he had not liked anything else all day.  We get on the highway and he quickly falls asleep.  Then he quickly wets himself and never wakes up when he does it, impressive.  I wake myself up from snoring, he had 6 hours of urine in his lap and does not affect him at all.  Then we talked about just going through the drive through and bring McDonald’s home for him.  After a while Annette suggest getting some barbeque from that food trailer I always wanted to try and just go home.

We got him home and changed.  He had some soup and Annette and I had some of the best barbeque I had in a long time.  Later that night Annette asked Colt about the zoo.  He said, “We got on the train.  I was scared.  I cried.  Then I fell asleep under the train.”  On the train, not under, but everything else was spot on.

The Next Day

I suspected that if I took some video of the zoo trip he would want to watch it later even though he did not enjoy the experience at the time.  I can’t explain why, but I just know this is how it works with him.  While we were there I took some video of the polar bear swimming, of the tortoises, and of the giraffes.   We showed it to him the next day and he watched it over and over again like it was a reminder of the greatest day of his life.

The Take Away

Luckily Annette and I know that the things we plan because we think Colt will really like them can end up being far less than a magical experience for all parties involved.  We have learned to set our expectations pretty low on outings such as this, but this one fell below even our lowest rung on that ladder.  I am still glad that we went because Annette and I still got to see some things that we both had looked forward to seeing.  The memories we made with Colt that day were not the ones we had hoped for but we were still able to find the humor in them.  I will laugh about those moments for years to come.

The magical moments that we want to hold onto in our memories can not always be planned.  That is not to say that there is no point in trying to plan anything for the kids.  Since I became a dad I am remembering some of the vacations and day trips that we took when I was a kid and they always make me smile.  I will talk about those memories with my parents and sometimes they don’t even remember some of the trips that stick out in my mind the most.  When we do plan things, don’t expect the picture perfect day we build up in our mind to be fulfilled just as we pictured it.  If it turns out good then it is a win.  If it is just ok then keep the good parts.  If it is a disaster then try to find the humor in it and realize there will be more opportunities to have those magical moments later on.

Instead waiting for big events, look for memories in everyday moments of life.  I have a lot of memories of hunting with Dad, taking walks with Mom, fishing with Pop, and doing crafts with Granny, each one I will always hold dear.  I am sure at the time they didn’t know I would hold onto those memories for the rest of my life because they were just doing things that were routine to them.  I am also sure that it will be the same with Colt and Piper.  They will hold onto things that I don’t even remember doing with them.   Don’t think special moments need to be planned out months in advance and cost an arm and a leg, special moments only cost you your time.